You can do this.

Staff Writer

Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

They smile in your face.

All the time, they’re bathing in the inner glow of how they backstabbed their way to the top.

And when you look at them, don’t you ever think: “I could do your job”?

Being a CEO can’t be all that hard, can it?

You negotiate a fine parachute payment just in case, dress well, make a few decisions a year, and try and stay clear of responsibility for other people’s mistakes.

No, of course I’m not specifically referring to Equifax in any way.

When the CEO of iconic, tight-jeaned fashion brand Diesel, Alessandro Bogliolo, left to join iconic purveyor of taste-free wedding jewelry Tiffany’s, Diesel’s founder Renzo Rosso had a problem.

What sort of CEO would be the right person?

Would it be someone who would drive the business forward, with an air of elegance and panache?

Would it be someone who’s been a CEO before, knows the ropes and can avoid the ones that might strangle even the finest CEO?

Or might it be worth going for someone a little more quirky? A customer, perhaps.

And that thought tantalized Rosso. So here’s what he did.

He turned it all into one big ad campaign, appealing to every single customer who’s ever squeezed into a Diesel garment.

Yes, this is your chance, oh lover of fashion, to become the CEO of a great fashion brand.

There are, of course, a few catches.

You might not be allowed to make too many decisions.

You might not even be able to chair any meetings, hire, fire or even show your skills as an excellent liar. (An essential CEO trait, this.)

Oh, and there’s also the little thing about CEO standing for Chair Executive Officer.

But look, the promise is for you to be able to go to Diesel’s Italian headquarters for a week and look important.

Which is 90 percent of being a Chief Executive Officer.

What’s even more lovely about this position is that you don’t have to concoct some mendacious resume in order to be considered.

Instead, you have to create a Gif that shows you sitting in a position of power in a manner that’s simply more powerful and alluring than any of your rivals.

This is the fashion business. It’s all about appearance.

So here’s where you apply.

I expect you to keep me updated your progress, as you aim for the job of a lifetime.

And, should you get it, please remember where you heard about it first.

Once you get to the top, it’s always worth remembering those who helped you get there.

Just, you know, in case.